How much parental leave will we take?
A time to bond with your baby
Parental leave refers to the period that new parents take off from work to care for and bond with their child, whether through birth, adoption, or foster placement.
This dedicated time off helps you adjust to parenthood's joys (and challenges!) and gives you space to navigate this big change in your life. It's also crucial for moms recovering from childbirth.
By communicating clearly and planning ahead, you can ensure that you're on the same page about parental leave and support each other to enter this next chapter of your lives together.
Understanding your legal rights
In the US, parental leave options vary depending on your employer and the state in which you live. The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) provides eligible employees with up to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave for qualifying reasons, including the birth or adoption of a child.
However, not all employees are eligible for FMLA, and it provides no financial compensation. Many employers offer paid parental leave as part of their benefits package, and a handful of states, such as California, New Jersey, and Rhode Island, have implemented paid family leave programs. It's essential to research your specific situation to understand what options are available to you.
Understanding employer policies
Many employers offer parental leave policies, so learning the details is important. Look for how long the leave lasts, whether it’s paid or unpaid, and any requirements you need to meet. Understanding your leave options and their impact on your job can help you make better choices as you become a parent.
Also, find out what paperwork or notifications your employer needs from you. Being informed enables you to advocate for your rights and adjust smoothly to parenthood.
Besides parental leave, think about other paid time off that might extend your time at home. Check if you have any vacation days, sick leave, or personal days available. If you have a good amount of unused paid time off, you could combine it with your parental leave for a longer break to recover and bond with your baby - depending on your employer’s policies
Factors to consider
Financial implications
When choosing how long to take parental leave, consider the financial implications. Check if your employer offers paid parental leave and for how long. If your leave is unpaid or only partially paid, you’ll need to plan your budget.
Figure out your expenses and how much money you’ll need to support your family during this time. It might also be a good idea to save some money beforehand to help cover costs while on leave.
If you need help figuring out how to budget for a baby, check out our article on this topic.
Career impact
In an ideal world, taking parental leave wouldn't impact your career. I took 4 months off when I had our baby. While I would have loved to have more time, I know how lucky I am in the US.
I'm also lucky to work at a company with a highly supportive and flexible culture. I didn't feel cut out of projects leading up to my leave, and no one tried to contact me for work-related things during my leave. Everyone was so warm, welcoming, and eager to bring me back into the loop when I returned.
Unfortunately, I know this is not the norm. Even if your company has a great policy in place, sometimes the culture makes it hard to implement in practice - especially for dads in general and moms in fields such as finance or tech.
Discuss how much time each of you can realistically take off without jeopardizing your career prospects and how much this matters to you.
Your future
On top of that, you may only have to think about parental leave a few times, depending on how many kids you want, but you'll become a working parent as soon as you have your first baby. If you can have open and honest conversations with trusted colleagues, ask them about their experiences - with leave and as working parents.
Over the long term - if your field or company culture is not flexible or supportive, how do you feel about this?
Your answers to this will vary based on your vision for the kind of life you want to create for your family and the roles each of you wants to play, the cost of living, other options for making a living, and how important success in your field or at your company is to you, among other things.
Creating a plan
Once you have a clear understanding of your options and factors to consider, discuss what you and your family need when deciding how long to take off. If you can make it work, babies benefit from having both parents involved in their care during the early months.
Some parents may want to return to work sooner, while others prefer to stay home longer. Talk about sharing tasks like feeding, diapering, and household chores. Finding a balance is important for a smooth transition into parenthood.
Staggering your leaves
Staggering your leaves can provide continuity of care for your baby and give each of you one-on-one bonding time. One partner can take the first few weeks or months; the other takes over when it's time for the first one to return to work.
On the other hand, taking leave together can be a wonderful opportunity to share the experience of caring for a newborn. You can tag-team diaper changes, trade off naps, and navigate the learning curve of parenthood as a unit. It's also a chance to create memories as a new family.
You can also break up your leaves if your employers' policies let you - taking a portion together during the initial period when the baby arrives and then staggering the rest of your leaves during the later months.
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