How will we help the baby sleep?

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Hush little baby

There are different approaches to helping your baby fall and stay asleep, such as creating a comfortable environment, swaddling, using pacifiers or smart cribs and bassinets, or sleep training.

Sleep training can be as simple as establishing routines and responding to sleep cues, but there are also more rigorous methods. The ultimate goal is to help babies learn to sleep.

Understanding newborn sleep patterns

Unlike adults, who usually have a well-established sleep-wake cycle, newborns don’t have a regular sleep pattern. In the early weeks, your baby will sleep in short bursts throughout the day and night, waking frequently for feedings and comfort. This irregular pattern is normal and necessary for their growth and development.

During the first few months, expect your baby to need frequent feedings because their small stomachs can only hold a little milk at a time. Your baby will likely wake every 2-3 hours around the clock for feedings. While this can be exhausting, it’s a temporary phase. As your baby grows and their stomach capacity increases, they will gradually sleep for longer periods, helping you establish a more predictable routine.

It's also common for babies to make a lot of noise during sleep, including grunting, snorting, and even crying, as they navigate different sleep cycles and process their surroundings. Each baby is unique, so be patient and flexible as your little one adjusts and develops their own sleep patterns.

Creating a safe sleep environment

Follow safety guidelines from pediatric experts. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that babies sleep on a firm, flat surface without any soft bedding, pillows, or toys that could pose a suffocation risk.

They also advise room-sharing for at least the first six months to reduce the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).

If you choose to bed-share, follow safe bed-sharing practices such as those provided by La Leche League's Safe Sleep Seven: use a firm mattress, avoid soft bedding, and do not bed-share if you smoke, have consumed alcohol, or are using medications that cause drowsiness.

Swaddling

Swaddling is a traditional practice used for centuries to help newborns feel secure and sleep more soundly. It involves wrapping your baby snugly in a muslin or cotton cloth, mimicking the cozy, confined feeling they had in the womb. This can be particularly comforting during the first few months as your baby adjusts to life outside the womb and may startle easily.

You can also use a velcro or zipper swaddle. Weighted swaddles have recently become more popular. They contain a small amount of added weight in order to further soothe the baby. However, they're not recommended by The American Academy of Pediatrics and aren't considered a safe sleep environment.‍

To swaddle a baby, lay them on a flat surface, place their arms at their sides, and gently wrap a lightweight, breathable cloth around their body, ensuring it's snug but not too tight, allowing enough room for their hips to move freely. Make sure their head and neck are not swaddled.

When done correctly, the snug embrace of a swaddle can work wonders in soothing fussy babies. By gently restricting the startle reflex, swaddling can help little ones drift off and stay peacefully asleep for longer stretches - which is especially welcome at night.

During those first few weeks, when a baby's internal thermostat is still a bit wonky, a swaddle adds an extra layer of coziness to keep them cozy.

However, it's important to ensure the swaddle is not too tight, as this can restrict movement and potentially affect hip development. Stop swaddling as soon as your baby shows signs of rolling over, usually around 2-3 months old. This is when swaddling can become unsafe. If your baby rolls onto its stomach while still swaddled, it may increase the risk of suffocation or sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS).

Pacifiers

Pacifiers can be a helpful tool for soothing babies and assisting them in falling asleep, especially in the early months when their sucking reflex is strong. Many babies find the sucking motion comforting, which can help them settle down and sleep more easily. Some studies also suggest that using a pacifier during sleep might lower the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).

However, it's important to use pacifiers correctly. Avoid using them as a substitute for feeding or emotional comfort. Offer the pacifier only after your baby has been fed and is content. Be sure to clean the pacifier regularly and replace it as needed to keep it hygienic and safe for your baby.

If you'd like additional information on pacifiers, check out our article on this topic.

White noise & a dark room

White noise and blacking out your baby's room can be effective in helping them sleep by creating a calm and distraction-free environment. White noise mimics the soothing, consistent sounds babies hear in the womb, such as a heartbeat or the hum of amniotic fluid, which can lull them into relaxation and mask sudden noises that might otherwise wake them.

Meanwhile, blackout conditions eliminate visual stimulation, signaling to the baby’s brain that it’s time for rest. Together, these tools create an ideal sleep setting by reducing sensory inputs and promoting a sense of safety and calmness, which are crucial for establishing healthy sleep patterns in infants.

However, you may opt out of using these if you're worried about your baby becoming overly dependent on them.

Smart cribs & bassinets

Smart cribs and bassinets are designed to create a comfortable and secure sleeping environment for your baby while offering extra features to help new parents. These devices often come with built-in sensors that monitor your baby's movements, breathing, and sleep patterns. Some models can gently rock your baby or play white noise and lullabies to soothe them when they become restless.

These features can provide peace of mind, knowing your baby is being monitored and comforted even when you're not in the room. Many smart cribs and bassinets also connect to your smartphone via an app, allowing you to check on your baby remotely and receive alerts if anything seems unusual.

Bedtime routine

Establishing a consistent bedtime routine can help your baby understand that it's time to wind down and get ready for sleep. It’s important to choose a routine that you and your partner are comfortable with and can follow every night.

When creating your bedtime routine, include calming activities that help soothe your baby and promote relaxation. A warm bath is a great starting point, as it helps your baby feel clean and comfortable.

After the bath, you might use a gentle baby lotion for a relaxing massage, which can also be a bonding experience. Soft lullabies or soothing music can create a peaceful atmosphere and help your baby associate certain songs with sleep.

Keep the routine short, predictable, and consistent—aim for about 20-30 minutes. Stick to the same sequence each night to help your baby recognize that these activities signal the end of the day and the start of a restful sleep.

Sleep training

Sleep training is a process designed to help babies learn to fall asleep and stay asleep on their own. Many experts suggest starting sleep training when babies are between 4 and 6 months old, as they are usually past the need for nighttime feedings and may begin to self-soothe.

Many parents swear by sleep training, while others don't do it at all. According to Emily Oster, the American economist who creates data-driven guides for pregnancy and parenthood, 64% of parents report some sleep training, and they do it at an average of 5.3 months of age. Like breastfeeding, this topic can also get contentious, which doesn't make it easier for sleep-deprived parents.

Before choosing a sleep training method, take some time to explore the different approaches available. Common methods include:

Cry-It-Out Method: This involves letting your baby cry for a predetermined time before offering comfort.
Gradual Extinction Method: This approach involves gradually increasing the time between check-ins as your baby learns to soothe themselves.
No-Tears Method: Focuses on creating a consistent bedtime routine and gently teaching your baby to fall asleep independently without letting them cry.

Each method has pros and cons, so consider which aligns best with your parenting style and family values. What works for one family might not work for another. Be flexible and prepared to adjust your approach as needed.

Sleep training is a process that takes time and patience, so maintain consistency and show support to your baby and partner throughout.

Night feedings & waking

Consider alternating nights or taking turns to handle nighttime needs so each of you can get some uninterrupted sleep. If one of you has work commitments that require a more stable sleep schedule, find a way to balance responsibilities that works for your family. Be prepared to adjust your plan as your baby's needs change and as you adapt to your new roles.

Discuss and agree on soothing techniques you feel comfortable with, such as gentle rocking, singing lullabies, or offering a pacifier. Being consistent with these methods will help your baby learn to self-soothe and build healthy sleep habits.

It's normal for babies to wake up during the night, so handle these moments with patience and understanding. If you decide to try sleep training, you'll have guidance based on your method.

If you're breastfeeding, this will likely influence your sleep plan. Breastfed babies often need to feed more frequently, especially in the early weeks, which means mom might handle most of the night feedings.

Your partner can still support you by taking care of diaper changes, burping, and helping settle the baby back to sleep. Sharing nighttime duties might be easier for bottle-feeding families, so consider preparing bottles or pumping breast milk in advance to simplify feedings.

Knowing yourself

You may thrive on establishing routines and structure, believing that a consistent schedule will help your baby feel secure and promote better sleep.

Or you may feel more comfortable with a flexible approach to sleep training, preferring to respond to your baby's needs as they arise and offering comfort and reassurance whenever your baby cries.

Likewise, you may do okay on a few hours of sleep or you may turn into Mr. Hyde.

It's important that you're honest with each other about your preferences and what feel is right for your family. If you find yourselves on the opposite ends of the sleep training debate, listen to each other's perspective and try to find common ground.

Getting to know your baby

When your baby is born, you'll get to know their sleep habits. Your baby may be a naturally good sleeper from the start. They may not require much sleep training or intervention, as they seem to have an innate ability to fall and stay asleep on their own.

Or your baby might find it difficult to fall asleep easily or they may wake up a few times or more at night. Or their sleep habits might vary from day to day!

You'll also get a sense for whether you think they can self soothe. Be patient and flexible as you figure out what works best for your family.

We opted to establish a fairly consistent bedtime but have otherwise been more flexible in our approach to sleep. There have definitely been times when I thought we made a mistake - such as when I woke up extremely cranky after a night with many wake ups.

But at the end of the day, it's what worked best for our parenting style. We tried to adopt stricter methods for a period of time, but soon realized getting everything right by these methods was stressing us out more than actually waking up with our baby.

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