How will we make time for ourselves as a couple?
You and I (we can conquer the world)
It'll be natural to want to prioritize your baby during this time, but it's just as important to balance the demands of a tiny, adorable, yet incredibly needy human with continuing to nurture a strong, loving relationship as a couple.
Maintaining a strong, healthy partnership is essential for your well-being and happiness and for creating a stable and loving environment for your child. Children thrive when they are raised by parents who have a solid, supportive relationship.
Recognizing that your lives are about to change
You won't be able to have spontaneous date nights or leisurely lie-ins, but that doesn't mean your relationship has to take a backseat.
You'll need to be more intentional about carving out quality time together. You can also embrace a new kind of spontaneity by finding time together when the baby falls asleep or is content.
Prioritizing your relationship
Make time for each other regularly, even just for a few minutes. This could mean having coffee together in the morning, chatting while the baby naps, or cuddling on the couch after the baby sleeps. As your child grows and you have more time, plan date nights or ask family or friends to babysit so you can enjoy quality time together.
You may also have different priorities regarding how you want to spend your time together. Talk about this. What's your favorite way of spending time together now? What are you most worried about losing? By discussing what's important to you openly and honestly, you can start to figure out how to make time for yourselves as a couple and prioritize what you'll do with that time.
Even short moments of connection can help keep your relationship strong and happy.
Scheduling date nights
Plan regular date nights—weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly—based on your schedules. This time helps you take a break from parenting and enjoy each other's company. Take turns arranging childcare with family, friends, or a babysitter. Knowing your baby is in good hands will help you relax and focus on your date.
Choose activities you both like, such as trying a new restaurant or going dancing. Date nights don't have to be expensive or fancy. You can even order your favorite takeout and watch a movie or play games at home when the baby is asleep.
The important thing is to spend quality time together, creating a relaxed space to talk, laugh, and remember why you fell in love.
Finding moments to connect daily
When your baby naps, try not to dive into chores or sleep right away. Instead, sit down with your partner and talk. Share a snack or coffee, and enjoy some quiet time together. These moments can help you recharge and feel closer.
At the end of each day, check in with each other. Talk about the good things, like your baby's milestones or funny moments, and any challenges you faced. Listen to your partner and offer support. Sharing your daily experiences helps you feel more connected and work together as parents.
Showing physical affection
Physical touch can strengthen your bond. Make an effort to hug, kiss, or cuddle throughout the day. When you can relax together, snuggle on the couch or in bed. This closeness releases hormones that promote bonding and reduce stress. Remember, intimacy is about feeling connected, not just about sex.
However, if you're feeling "touched out" or wary at the idea of any more physical touch, create a space where you can communicate that with each other without worrying about feeling bad or being judged.
Practicing self-care & supporting each other
Encourage each other to take breaks whenever you can. This might mean taking turns napping while the other watches the baby or letting your partner have a few quiet moments to read, meditate, or enjoy a cup of coffee.
Offer to handle baby duties so your partner can have some "me time." You can take over a feeding, change a diaper, or soothe the baby while they relax, go for a walk, or catch up with a friend. Remember, both of you deserve breaks, and it's important to help each other recharge.
Engaging in hobbies and stress-relief activities can help you feel like yourself outside parenting. Encourage each other to pursue things that bring joy, like reading, exercising, or creating art.
Find activities to enjoy together, like taking a yoga class, hiking, or working on a puzzle when possible. These shared moments can strengthen your bond and give you a break from parenting. Taking care of yourselves and supporting each other will make you better partners and parents in the long run.
Being gracious with each other
Parenting is a wild, messy, and often hilarious journey. It may sound cliche but try to embrace the chaos, find humor in the sleep-deprived moments, and not take yourselves too seriously. A shared giggle over a diaper blowout or a silly baby face can do wonders for your bond as a couple.
This is by far my favorite thing we have learned in our first year with the baby. Yes, parenting is hard, but it can also be really fun. Seeing your partner in this new role can be amazing - not just how they show up as a parent but also how they support you, lighten your load, and just make everything better.
So, while your relationship may look a little different in this new phase of life, with a bit of effort, flexibility, and a whole lot of love, you can absolutely make time for yourselves as a couple.
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