What will baby's first and middle name be?
What's in a name?
A name is one of the first things people learn about you - it becomes intrinsically tied to your identity and how the world perceives you. It can connect you to your parents' hopes for you, your culture, family, and community and give you a sense of your place in the world.
When we first started discussing what we wanted to name our baby, we didn't seem to agree on any names—at all! Since we had already nixed each other’s early favorites, we perused lists and talked with family and friends for additional inspiration.
When we narrowed our choices down to a few options, we used sticky notes to test out different combinations of names and make a final decision.
Starting early
It's never too early to start brainstorming baby names. The sooner you begin, the more time you'll have to figure out what kind of names you both like, delve into meanings and origins, test out how names sound when spoken aloud, debate pros and cons, work through any disagreements and, ultimately, choose a name that resonates with both of you.
Picking a first name
Personal preferences & style
Think about names that appeal to you aesthetically and emotionally or carry a personal significance. You may be drawn to classic names that evoke a sense of tradition and timelessness. Or you may prefer more modern or unique names that reflect your individual style and personality.
Modern names often have a fresh and contemporary feel, while unique names can help your child stand out. It'll be important to strike a balance that feels right for you both. When weighing your options, also consider any potential nicknames or variations that might come from the names you're considering.
Family or cultural traditions
Talk about whether your families have traditions of passing down names or if you want to honor a loved one by using their name. This can be a heartfelt way to continue a family legacy or pay tribute to someone who has significantly influenced your life.
You might also consider reflecting your cultural heritage in your baby's name. Many cultures have traditional names connected to their history and values. Choosing a name that represents your background can help your child build a strong sense of identity.
Meanings
Research the origins and associations of the names you like to see if they resonate with you. Understanding where a name comes from can provide insights into its cultural significance, historical background, and any unique stories associated with it.
This deeper knowledge can make the name feel more special and meaningful. Consider whether a name could lead to teasing or bullying; some names, even if they have lovely meanings, can give rise to unfortunate puns or rhymes that kids might use.
Picking a middle name
When discussing possible middle names for your baby, the same considerations can be helpful as when discussing possible first names. In addition, it might be helpful to think of names that complement the first name in style, rhythm, and meaning.
Style
For example, if you pick a classic first name, a classic middle name might work well too. Similarly, if you choose a modern or unique first name, you may want to opt for a similar middle name to match the contemporary feel.
Rhythm
Say the full name out loud to see how the syllables sound. A one-syllable middle name can create a strong sound with a longer first name, while a longer middle name can balance a shorter first name.
Meaning
A middle name with a positive or meaningful significance can add depth. For instance, if the first name means "brave," you could choose a middle name that means "strong," creating a powerful message about your child.
Overall, combining a first and middle name is a chance to create a meaningful identity for your child that reflects your values and hopes for their future.
Narrowing down your choices
Make a list
Start by creating a list of your favorite names, both for first and middle names. Jot down names you've always liked, names of family members or friends you admire, or names with special meaning. Don't be afraid to include a variety of styles and origins – this is your chance to explore all the possibilities!
If you need inspiration, baby name lists or digital generators can be a helpful starting point.
Baby name lists and generators:
You can make your lists individually or together. If you make them separately, compare them and see if any names appear on both. You can also use an app like BabyName to select names you like and discover matches.
Keep an open mind to suggestions from each other. While you may have your heart set on a particular name, you'll need to collaborate to find a name you both like!
Say the names aloud
How do they sound? Do your options for first and middle names flow well together and with your last name? Consider the names’ longevity and versatility, too. Will they grow with your child from infancy to adulthood? Will they work well in various professional and personal settings?
Look at the names together: When you have a shortlist, you can use sticky notes like us, note cards, or a whiteboard to see what different combinations of first, middle, and last names look like. This can be helpful if you’re more of a visual processor.
Think about initials
Consider the initials formed by the full name to ensure they don't create any unfortunate acronyms or combinations.
Consider feedback
It may be nice to consider suggestions from family and friends. However, the decision is ultimately yours. Don't let others pressure you into choosing a name that doesn't feel right to both of you.
Give yourselves time to think about it
You may even want to spend some quality time with your little one before making it official on the birth certificate. Sometimes, seeing the baby confirms that a name is right, or you might get a new idea that fits the baby better.
Don't pressure yourselves!
Sometimes, the pressure you put on yourself can be the hardest. Some couples agree on a name that they both think is perfect instantaneously, others take time to get there, and some never do - and that’s okay!
As long as you both like the name, it's okay to let it grow on you. Hopefully, when your baby is born, you'll start to associate the name with your baby and grow to love the name as well.
Work together
Discussing what to name your baby can get heated! Try to have fun with it, respect each other, and not worry if it takes longer than anticipated.
If you can't seem to agree on a name, perhaps you can agree on a style or origin. Consider alternatives or variations of your favorite names, too.
You could use one partner's preferred first name with the other partner's preferred middle name, or vice versa. Another option is to agree to take turns choosing names for future children or to combine your top choices into a unique name.
Ultimately, your child will own the name you pick and make it their own, no matter what. So trust yourselves, communicate openly and respectfully, and cherish this special moment as soon-to-be parents.
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