Is three a party or a crowd?

The people in the delivery room can have a big impact on your comfort and overall birth experience. As you get ready to welcome your baby, think carefully about who you want by your side - whether it’s just the two of you, family, or trusted friends. This is a personal choice that you should make together, considering your comfort levels, preferences, and hospital policies. 

Your comfort

Giving birth is a personal and intimate experience. You should feel very comfortable around the people who will be in the delivery room, and they should, in turn, make you (especially the mom-to-be) feel comfortable and supported.

Think about their personal qualities - are they supportive and understanding? Are they respectful and calm?

Your support system

Discuss the support you may want during labor and delivery. Will you need someone for emotional support, relaxation techniques, or to advocate for your needs? Would you like someone to take photos or keep the family updated?

Reflect on who has supported you during your pregnancy, offering encouragement and listening to you.

Hospital policies & restrictions

Hospital policies may limit the number of people allowed in the delivery room, so check with your healthcare provider or birthing facility for their guidelines. These rules are in place to ensure the safety and well-being of you and your baby.

Some hospitals may allow only one or two support persons, while others may have more flexible policies. Understanding these restrictions in advance will help you prioritize and choose your core support team effectively.

Your partner's role

Having the other partner in the delivery room is a given for many couples. However, discussing your partner's specific role during labor and delivery is important.

Discuss your partner's comfort level and feelings about labor and delivery to ensure you're both aligned on their role. Then, talk about how they can best support you - whether through physical comfort measures like massage or emotional support through encouragement and reassurance.

Family dynamics & expectations

If you have family members who want to be there, consider how their presence will affect your experience. Will they be supportive or create stress? 

Talk openly about your preferences. While support is appreciated, your comfort and well-being should come first. It’s perfectly okay to set boundaries that reflect your needs.

If some loved ones can’t be in the delivery room but you still want them involved, think about using video calls or sending updates.

Professional support

Think about whether you want to hire a doula. Doulas are trained to provide emotional, physical, and informational support during pregnancy, labor, and postpartum. They can help with comfort measures, advocate for your wishes, and stay with you throughout the birth.

To help you decide whether you want a birth doula, check out our article on this topic.

Communicating your decision

Once you decide who will be in the delivery room, clearly communicate your preferences to your healthcare team and any family or friends involved. Inform your doctor or midwife about who will be present so they can prepare accordingly.

If you’re not including certain family members who have expressed a desire to be there, have a kind but firm conversation with them to explain your choice. Let them know that while you appreciate their support, it's essential to prioritize what feels right for you and your partner.